I used to be a terrific writer. I had a certain magic and image to my stories that couldn’t be duplicated. After a long line of life events I slowly stopped writing for the enjoyment of it. I released a life long dream to be a writer.
While writing had once been my biggest dream, like many people with some “Debbie Downers” around I let the dream go. There are so many people in the world who haven’t achieved their goals and are so consumed with negativity that they try to crush others. Their pessimism is smothering and sucks the oxygen and ambition right away from others.
This is an extremely personal story and I remember exactly when I had decided to let my dream go. When I was younger I had written this short story and was so proud of it. I am my own worst critic (or so I had thought), but when I had produced this beautiful story I eagerly rushed down the stairs to show it to my family. The lack of enthusiasm was crushing. I should have just sent the story out to try and get published before showing them. When I asked directly what they thought of it you know it’s not good when they respond…”Well, do you want me to be honest?”
So I dropped it. The story sat forgotten in my bedroom for years. Just prior to my move I found the story again. I reread it and was impressed…so impressed that I couldn’t remember if it was actually something I wrote. My name was clearly on top and the minor grammatical errors were indicators that this was indeed my work. The worst part is that I know that I can’t write like that any longer.
My family loves and supports me, please don’t come away thinking that they are horrid people. The problem, however, is that I’ve never tried to send any of my writing out to get reviewed by professionals. Professionals who don’t have an emotional investment in my well being. Why is this story still hidden inside my closet like it’s some dirty movie?
I’ve decided (as painful as it is) to begin writing again. I know I write plenty on the blog, but I want to write something more magical. I want to be that person behind the words who can shift a reader’s mood with only a sentence. So I’m adding some new goals with the full intention of getting published. Not only will I be successful at getting published, I will publish THAT story which made me drop the dream.
- Write a poem to share on the blog (not for publishing)
- Write 2 poems for private to publish
- Edit “Stranger” so that it’s ready to be sent out to publishers
- Bubble chart some new ideas for a novel and choose one.
- Bubble chart some new ideas for a short story and choose one.
Never let your dreams go. It’s difficult and sometimes we need to keep a toe down on reality, but sometimes it’s quite alright to allow yourself to just try.